Receiving and Being a Guest

‘Atithi devo bhav’ is a Sanskrut saying in India, that means, ‘A guest is like a God’. This is said to impress upon the people to treat their guests with dignity. For this saying to materialize, it is not only the host must be attentive to the guest, but the guest must also understand situation of the host and not be an inconvenient burden on him.

It is also said that a guest appears pleasant for some time only. This 'some time' meant a few days earlier, but now it means a few hours only, later, he/she become a burden on the host. Therefore, in these busy days of people generally, the guest must also take care of not disturbing the host beyond his/her capacity.

When guest is expected to arrive soon, people conduct themselves in one of these three ways –

· Remain indifferent,

· Make preparations to impress the guest,

· Make arrangements to please the guest.

Remaining indifferent to arrival of a guest shows either of the two things - the host is not according any importance to the guest, or the host usually remains ready to entertain such guests and no special preparations are needed. Both these conditions are applicable to highly affluent persons and also depend on how much valuable the gust is for the host.

Persons who are poor or suffer from inferiority complex try to cover-up their real or assumed deficiencies by hiding them from the guest’s view in order to impress on him/her that everything is fine with them. In this process, lapses are possible that may leave a bad impression on the guest. Moreover, hiding a weakness is not the solution for the problem but making efforts to eliminate the weakness is the right course. If that is the case and still the weakness persists, there is no harm in its being clear to the guest.

Many persons spend beyond their means to artificially impress their guests, particularly, in marriage and other such functions, and get into debts in the process. Guests come, enjoy and go soon leaving the debts on the person’s head to bear and repay later. Therefore, this type of conduct is not desirable.

If a guest finds indifference in the attitude of the host by his/her arrival, he/she may feel neglected. Therefore, it is desirable to make the guest feel that his/her arrival has been provided with some importance. It pleases him mentally. Even an unusual smile on the face of the host by seeing the guest pleases the guest. If some additional arrangement is made by the host to accommodate and provide some comforts to the guest, the guest feels much more dignified. A special meal to honor the guest provides additional pleasures to him/her.

It is often found that persons living a miserable lifestyle in their own homes, expect VIP treatment and luxuries when visiting someone as a guest. The guest must understand limitations of the host and should not be an unwanted burden on him/her by demanding what he/she was deficient of in his/her own home. The host home must be considered as own home by an ideal guest with limitations and deficiencies of practical life. It is in his own interests if he/she mixes him/herself with the family of the host as just another member of the family. This way, both the guest as well as the host feel at home with each other.